Wednesday, March 25, 2009

25 Things Lisa Round 2 by Emma

1. Lisa’s “real” name is Elisa. At least that is what it was when she was “bornded”. This is a direct quote from her. I bet she is glad I remember these things.

2. (E)Lisa wanted to be a zoologist when she grew up. Then, later, she was going to be an ASL interpreter. Personally, I think she should have been one of those scientists who teach sign language to monkeys—you know, cause that would be a mixture of both careers. Maybe she can at least teach Matt to sign; that’s about the same.

3. Lisa likes to make everyone happy. When we were little kids, she was always pulled in two or three (or four or five) directions trying to be on everybody’s “side” when the rest of us were fighting. She understood every one’s reasons for being mad, but really she just wanted to make everyone feel better and be nice to everyone else. She thinks of other people before she thinks of herself. She is always willing to go along and help you do your thing, support you, etc. before she thinks about what she needs, and she doesn’t complain about it either. I have never heard her say, “I would be there for you, ...” If she can be, she’s there.

4. Lisa tells (and is willing to listen to, and pretend to laugh at) the LAMEST jokes. Next time you speak to her, ask to hear the “Donkey” one. It’s horrible.

5. Lisa is spunky…and by spunky I mean too dumb to be scared of stuff you really should be scared of. For example:
When she was a toddler, she and her brother and sisters used to line up by the pool to get floaties on and then WAIT till it was time to go in. Not Lisa. Soon as no one was restraining her, it was time to go in. It made her mother scream in horror like every time. That kid had to be fished out of the pool more than once.

Also, when she was a bit older, she was at a filling station pre-paying for her gas when a BIG guy, who was obviously a criminal, pulled up by the pump she was paying for and started to pump her gas into his car. Now anyone else would have stayed in the filling station, called the police, given a description… Not Lis, she marched out and yelled at that guy, and if I had to guess, I would bet she yelled in “ebonics.” Did you Lisa? Did you yell in ebonics?

6. She loves her husband passionately. Everyone loves their spouse, but those two are still sickening passionate about it. She still thinks he’s hot. He feels the same way too, but then look at her, how could he not? But seriously—I have seen few couples so in love with each other, so easy going and happy about it, and so secure with each other. It’s nice to see that is possible to be that happy. I hope they are that happy forever.

7. She missed school often because of a terrible illness she had as a child…in her tummy? Head? Nose? Something like that…on the upside, she got lots of rest, popsicles, and acting practice when she stayed home.

8. If you throw a rock that hits her in the forehead, she bleeds a lot! But she forgives you.

9. She also forgives you if you bury her in a hole in the desert, tie her up and leave her in the closet, lock her in a bathroom for three hours, leave her on the road to fend for herself with a snake while you run home screaming, forget to bring her the lunch you totally promised to bring to her…. She’s just an understanding and forgiving girl. Good thing, cause she takes lots of abuse.
10. Lisa can make food. I know this, because when he was a teenager, her brother Robert used to walk up to her after school when his mom was not around and say, “Lisa, make food.” And she did.

11. Lisa is really good at being a Mommy. You can tell because her kids smile a lot. I was explaining to Elsa the other day what adoption was. I was trying to give her a definition of how and why people give babies up. I told her that when a mommy has a baby she doesn’t have enough time and money to take care of, she sometimes thinks the baby will be better off if she picks another lady to take care of the baby and be the baby’s mommy. I told her that is how Lisa got to be Moses’ mommy. His birth mommy needed a good mommy to take him, and she picked Lisa. Elsa and I decided we think Mosey’s birth mom was a very smart lady for picking Lisa

12. Lisa respects people. Not in the “yes ma’am” “yes sir” kind of way (cause she is actually kinda nonchalant about respecting authority types) but in the real way people should all respect each other. She doesn’t “judge” people because they are funny lookin’, poor, or have made mistakes (unless they are wearing a bright white jump suit, pink panties on the outside, and a feather boa—and happen to be male—then she does judge). She just hopes the best for everyone.
13. Lisa makes me proud when she talks about Mosey’s other mother. I know a lot of adoptive mothers who feel threatened by their kids’ birth mothers, or feel superior to them, etc. Lisa speaks so kindly about his birth mother and frequently thinks of her and how she must feel. When Lisa talks about Mosey’s birth mother, you would think she is talking about an old dear friend or sister—she speaks of her tenderly and admiringly. Once (in her post about her dad) Lisa said the best thing a man could do for his children is love their mother. I think one of the greatest gifts Lisa is giving her son, is that she openly and sincerely loves his birth mother. Imagine how much easier life will be for him because she is making sure he knows how special the place he came from is.

14. Lisa has a fainting couch she does not take full advantage of. It’s sad really, she could be doing so much more with it.

15. When Lisa is really sick, she gets sheet white. The flu, a headache, nearly bleeding to death in child birth, doesn’t matter---she turns ghost white.

16. Lisa’s favorite cousin is the only child of Lisa’s mother’s older sister. Sometimes she pretends she loves all her cousins the same, but she’s just being a good diplomat.

17. Lisa went through this weird phase where she liked stuff to be black that normally wouldn’t be. She liked black pearls, black roses and stuff like that.

18. Lisa can laugh at herself, which is good, because she gives herself lots and lots and lots of opportunities.

19. She cleans up nice. I have seen her go from scrawny, scraggly, ponytailed, greasy teenager-looking thing to a flashy hot young diva ready for a night on the town in a few short hours, and all it takes is a bottle of shampoo, a pair of jeans, a trendy jacket, and some lip gloss.

20. Despite the “hours” comment in #19, Lisa can be dressed and ready to hit the town a good two hours sooner than her sisters can be, even if they all start at the same time. If you ever get the chance to bet on a race between the three of them, pick Lisa, hands down.

21. Lisa did not have a TV during her childhood and teenage life. So she is oblivious to many TV spawned pop-culture references of the 80’s and 90’s. I bet she doesn’t even know what the “Carlton” is, or who Screech Powers from ‘Saved by the Bell’ was in love with for like 8 years. (oh, Lisa darling, her name was “Lisa.”)

22. Despite not having a TV, Lisa loves commercials. A good video tape of good commercials makes her happy.

23. Lisa said the Donkey all shaggy and brown. And she was heck of cute when she did too!

24. At one point in her life, Lisa had 18 warts on her body all at the same time. She will be glad I included that information. They are gone now. The biggest one was on her hand.

25. Lisa gets pulled over by cops so the cop can flirt with her. Notice I did not say it happened, but I said that it happens. As in, iIt’s been more the once, and I am sure it will continue to occur for as long as she is so stinking pretty. And since she’s in her mid twenties and insists upon remaining as youthful looking as she did ten years ago, I don’t think she will stop getting pulled over for being too cute for a LONG time.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Lisa 25 Things round 1

1. Lisa loves to eat alfalfa sprouts, which is good, since a lot of the time she looks like she’s putting on a little weight. (Actually, she never changes. Even when she was pregnant she only gained like 4 pounds)

2. Lisa is one of the world’s great listeners. I always felt like I could tell her my wacky ideas that I would be embarrassed to tell anyone else. Like the snowboard video w/ the Smashing Pumpkins song.

3. One of the best things about Lisa is that she has no reservations about smacking Matt (hard!) when he needs it, which is quite often.

4. Lisa drove some poor teenage boys crazy back in the day. There are a few who are still mentally unstable. Like the freak at Costco that I almost mangled when he tried to pick up on her right in front of me.

5. Lisa does one heck of a monkey impression

6. Lisa has a talent for writing and expressing simple, common emotions and
feelings about life that go straight to the heart of the reader.

7. As a teenager, Lisa never seemed to need the approval of the ‘cool’ group
at school; she was quite comfortable with herself, who she was, and what she believed.

8. Lisa has a special love for those who speak with their hands. She has been
mistaken for a person who is deaf because of her talent with sign language.

9. When 14 years old, Lisa was a volunteer assigned to the NICU. She stocked
supplies and rocked the preemies. She especially loved a tiny black baby
named Moses. She sang him songs and asked him about his girlfriends. She
told me one evening that someday she would have her own little Moses. She
never let go of her dream.

10. Lisa and Natalie did a marvelous ‘video’ and karaoke of ‘Earl’s Gotta Die.’

11. As a child, Lisa liked to sleep on the couch quite often.

12. Ask Matt about how well Lisa responds to practical jokes at McDonalds after she
drove all night on a long trip back from a pest control summer. “Here’s your sign!”

13. I have never seen Lisa do a lick of yard work.

14. We are a much better family because Lisa came along. She has made each
of us better and happier.

15. Lisa married the exact right guy, and made it look easy.

16. I think it is possible that Lisa picked Moses long before this life.

17. The YW were singing, reading poetry, etc. at a YW in Excellence program.
When it was Lisa’s turn she walked to the front, kicked off her shoes and
launched into a drum solo. She received a standing ovation and livened
that meeting up a bit.

18. Lisa is a lefty, but she doesn’t hold her pen right.

19. Lisa is an early riser…early afternoon.

20. You could say that Lisa is quite social; she doesn’t like being alone.

21. Lisa loves ice cream (even in Omaha in the winter) and dark chocolate.

22. When picking Lisa up from Junior High, she would jump in the car, turn the
radio up very loud, then begin telling me about her day in a very, very loud
voice so I could hear her over the radio. I would drive home very fast.

23. The way Lisa loves that Moses makes you think he’s her favorite. It’s the
same with Ava, too. Guess she plays favorites. She is an amazing mother
with happy children who already have their own opinions, and keep us laughing.

24. Lisa talked us into getting her 2 baby ducks thinking they would follow her around.
She named them both Jim. They always ran away as fast as possible whenever she
came near.

25. Lisa would not leave the Saturn dealership when I had to leave for an appointment
before we completed the purchase. She was there for about 5 1/2 hours – but she got
the keys! And I got the car (Thanks Ron--- Matt).

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Natalie 25 Things

1. Natalie makes the most delicious chocolate chip pancakes ever. Oh, how we love fattening food.
2. Natalie once got 100 red roses from a boy. Roses were everywhere, covering everything. It was impressive. Too bad the guy was an idiot.

3. Natalie has a Master's degree in English. She taught a class at BYU and I told her she should make the students call her "Master Baxter". If not her students, she should at least make her kids do it, don't ya think?

4. Natalie once worked at a summer camp for disabled people in Malibu. She loved it, even when she had to a get a tetanus shot because a camper bit her.

5. Natalie served a mission in Brazil. She worked hard and loved the people. And now she can talk trash in Portuguese with all the boys of the family. Lucky her.

6. Natalie is a compulsive returner. I believe she single-handedly brought down the Mervyn's empire. They thought they were doing fine when she bought so much--until 30 days later when she returned it all. It's not her fault--she just can't help it.

7. Natalie learned how to swim from my mother-in-law a couple summers ago. You know, "real" swimming, not that doggy paddling stuff. I learned too. Natalie would make up all these crazy contests so that we would have to practice a lot. All I know is she looks way better in a swimsuit than I do.

8. Natalie is really good at skating. Yeah, roller skating. When we were little my parents took us to the skating rink pretty often. Natalie always participated in the "speed skate". There would be all these boys out there trying to show off and then this little girl just blowin' 'em away. If you would like to check out her skills head on over to the next disco skate night, she'll be there (as long as Emma Lee makes her go).

9. Natalie is the most athletic girl in our family. Uh, maybe I should say the only athletic girl. She played volleyball and softball in highschool. I think she attempted to play basketball but was too short to get the ball up to the net. She also likes fishing with my dad and Robert.

10. Natalie is terrified of scary movies. Her husband won't even let her watch them anymore because he doesn't want to have to stay up all night when she is too scared to sleep. And if the girl sees X-Files she won't be sleeping for weeks. Once she told me that she is "not afraid of scary men, just aliens". That still makes me laugh.

11. Natalie is a great boy mom. She does lots of active things with those little towheads and somehow she keeps up with them. She has also become a master of train track building. Only time will tell if she can handle a girl.

12. Natalie is none too good at climbing fences to sneak into drum corp concerts. She ripped her pants (that were actually MY pants of course) and she took so long that the security truck came and turned their brights on us. And we don't even want to talk about what happened after the concert, but girl, you know I'd do it all again with you.

13. Natalie loves the beach. Natalie craves the beach. Natalie is her most peaceful self when she is on the beach. Natalie comes back into herself when she is on the beach. You gettin' this, Jonny?

14. Natalie loves to run. Yeah, I don't get it either, but she does. She has completed a half-marathon and if I could remember her time I would tell you, but I know it was good. Real, real good. She says it gets easier after the first 3 miles. She lies.

15. Natalie mentored a little boy named David before she had kids. She would take him to do fun things and make him feel important. I went with her a couple times, and man, it is hard to teach a kid to skate. I think she will never know all that she did for little David.

16. Natalie likes to perform crazy things to songs and drag me into it with her. The girl can dance AND sing, but that doesn't mean I can. We've made fools of ourselves to all kinds of songs, usually only in front of family, but we did do one at her wedding. Jonathan loved it, I'm sure.

17. Natalie is really good at sharing. She always wants everyone else to have what she has and she is more than willing to give you hers. It doesn't matter who you are, Natalie will give up whatever to make someone else happy.

18. Natalie is very organized and very clean. She's cleaned my house more than once for me. She makes lists, sets goals, and is very productive. And she vacuums every Friday.

19. Natalie has been in several choirs. She sang in a session of General Conference with a Rick's College choir. She's good, but once I fell asleep in her choir concert and woke to some guy screaming a song about stuffing slaves in a ship. I'm still a little shaken.

20. Natalie looks small and sweet, but if you are unfortunate enough to have to wake her up, you will never forget the wrath that will rain down upon you.

21. Natalie can read hieroglyphics. She is one of the few people in the world with this ability. Not really, but once a lady asked her what she was writing her thesis about. When Natalie replied, "Ancient rhetoric," the woman said, "Oh, so you can read hieroglyphics?". That story cracks me up every time.

22. Natalie is going to write a book with me someday. She is going to do all the writing. The idea for the book was born one dark, hot night in the ghetto of Las Vegas as we sat on a wooden bench, watching transvestites, and wondering what to do about our broken down car. So far we have the title. It's going to be amazing, as soon as it gets written.

23. Natalie likes to wear maternity clothes--when she's not pregnant. You all know how tiny she is. So if you have any lying around that you're not using, send 'em on over.

24. Natalie will win any 'most embarrassing moment' contest--hands down. I won't go into it all here, but it has something to do with a boyfriend's dad that likes to vacuum naked. Oh mercy. If you are in need of a really good belly laugh, you need this story. But you've got to hear it from Natalie. She is such a winner.

25. Natalie is an amazing freestyler. That girl can rap like nobody's bidness. She's just putting that degree to good use.

Saturday, March 14, 2009


For those of you who have been wondering when Natalie's post will be up, well, I don't know. I actually got it all done a while ago and hit 'publish', but some error occurred and it was erased in it's entirety. Then, Matt dropped the computer. So maybe someday Natalie's post will be displayed here for all to enjoy--but I make no promises.

*And yes, I feel completely cut off from the world without a computer. Sometimes I am even tempted to watch the news.