Wednesday, March 25, 2009

25 Things Lisa Round 2 by Emma

1. Lisa’s “real” name is Elisa. At least that is what it was when she was “bornded”. This is a direct quote from her. I bet she is glad I remember these things.

2. (E)Lisa wanted to be a zoologist when she grew up. Then, later, she was going to be an ASL interpreter. Personally, I think she should have been one of those scientists who teach sign language to monkeys—you know, cause that would be a mixture of both careers. Maybe she can at least teach Matt to sign; that’s about the same.

3. Lisa likes to make everyone happy. When we were little kids, she was always pulled in two or three (or four or five) directions trying to be on everybody’s “side” when the rest of us were fighting. She understood every one’s reasons for being mad, but really she just wanted to make everyone feel better and be nice to everyone else. She thinks of other people before she thinks of herself. She is always willing to go along and help you do your thing, support you, etc. before she thinks about what she needs, and she doesn’t complain about it either. I have never heard her say, “I would be there for you, ...” If she can be, she’s there.

4. Lisa tells (and is willing to listen to, and pretend to laugh at) the LAMEST jokes. Next time you speak to her, ask to hear the “Donkey” one. It’s horrible.

5. Lisa is spunky…and by spunky I mean too dumb to be scared of stuff you really should be scared of. For example:
When she was a toddler, she and her brother and sisters used to line up by the pool to get floaties on and then WAIT till it was time to go in. Not Lisa. Soon as no one was restraining her, it was time to go in. It made her mother scream in horror like every time. That kid had to be fished out of the pool more than once.

Also, when she was a bit older, she was at a filling station pre-paying for her gas when a BIG guy, who was obviously a criminal, pulled up by the pump she was paying for and started to pump her gas into his car. Now anyone else would have stayed in the filling station, called the police, given a description… Not Lis, she marched out and yelled at that guy, and if I had to guess, I would bet she yelled in “ebonics.” Did you Lisa? Did you yell in ebonics?

6. She loves her husband passionately. Everyone loves their spouse, but those two are still sickening passionate about it. She still thinks he’s hot. He feels the same way too, but then look at her, how could he not? But seriously—I have seen few couples so in love with each other, so easy going and happy about it, and so secure with each other. It’s nice to see that is possible to be that happy. I hope they are that happy forever.

7. She missed school often because of a terrible illness she had as a child…in her tummy? Head? Nose? Something like that…on the upside, she got lots of rest, popsicles, and acting practice when she stayed home.

8. If you throw a rock that hits her in the forehead, she bleeds a lot! But she forgives you.

9. She also forgives you if you bury her in a hole in the desert, tie her up and leave her in the closet, lock her in a bathroom for three hours, leave her on the road to fend for herself with a snake while you run home screaming, forget to bring her the lunch you totally promised to bring to her…. She’s just an understanding and forgiving girl. Good thing, cause she takes lots of abuse.
10. Lisa can make food. I know this, because when he was a teenager, her brother Robert used to walk up to her after school when his mom was not around and say, “Lisa, make food.” And she did.

11. Lisa is really good at being a Mommy. You can tell because her kids smile a lot. I was explaining to Elsa the other day what adoption was. I was trying to give her a definition of how and why people give babies up. I told her that when a mommy has a baby she doesn’t have enough time and money to take care of, she sometimes thinks the baby will be better off if she picks another lady to take care of the baby and be the baby’s mommy. I told her that is how Lisa got to be Moses’ mommy. His birth mommy needed a good mommy to take him, and she picked Lisa. Elsa and I decided we think Mosey’s birth mom was a very smart lady for picking Lisa

12. Lisa respects people. Not in the “yes ma’am” “yes sir” kind of way (cause she is actually kinda nonchalant about respecting authority types) but in the real way people should all respect each other. She doesn’t “judge” people because they are funny lookin’, poor, or have made mistakes (unless they are wearing a bright white jump suit, pink panties on the outside, and a feather boa—and happen to be male—then she does judge). She just hopes the best for everyone.
13. Lisa makes me proud when she talks about Mosey’s other mother. I know a lot of adoptive mothers who feel threatened by their kids’ birth mothers, or feel superior to them, etc. Lisa speaks so kindly about his birth mother and frequently thinks of her and how she must feel. When Lisa talks about Mosey’s birth mother, you would think she is talking about an old dear friend or sister—she speaks of her tenderly and admiringly. Once (in her post about her dad) Lisa said the best thing a man could do for his children is love their mother. I think one of the greatest gifts Lisa is giving her son, is that she openly and sincerely loves his birth mother. Imagine how much easier life will be for him because she is making sure he knows how special the place he came from is.

14. Lisa has a fainting couch she does not take full advantage of. It’s sad really, she could be doing so much more with it.

15. When Lisa is really sick, she gets sheet white. The flu, a headache, nearly bleeding to death in child birth, doesn’t matter---she turns ghost white.

16. Lisa’s favorite cousin is the only child of Lisa’s mother’s older sister. Sometimes she pretends she loves all her cousins the same, but she’s just being a good diplomat.

17. Lisa went through this weird phase where she liked stuff to be black that normally wouldn’t be. She liked black pearls, black roses and stuff like that.

18. Lisa can laugh at herself, which is good, because she gives herself lots and lots and lots of opportunities.

19. She cleans up nice. I have seen her go from scrawny, scraggly, ponytailed, greasy teenager-looking thing to a flashy hot young diva ready for a night on the town in a few short hours, and all it takes is a bottle of shampoo, a pair of jeans, a trendy jacket, and some lip gloss.

20. Despite the “hours” comment in #19, Lisa can be dressed and ready to hit the town a good two hours sooner than her sisters can be, even if they all start at the same time. If you ever get the chance to bet on a race between the three of them, pick Lisa, hands down.

21. Lisa did not have a TV during her childhood and teenage life. So she is oblivious to many TV spawned pop-culture references of the 80’s and 90’s. I bet she doesn’t even know what the “Carlton” is, or who Screech Powers from ‘Saved by the Bell’ was in love with for like 8 years. (oh, Lisa darling, her name was “Lisa.”)

22. Despite not having a TV, Lisa loves commercials. A good video tape of good commercials makes her happy.

23. Lisa said the Donkey all shaggy and brown. And she was heck of cute when she did too!

24. At one point in her life, Lisa had 18 warts on her body all at the same time. She will be glad I included that information. They are gone now. The biggest one was on her hand.

25. Lisa gets pulled over by cops so the cop can flirt with her. Notice I did not say it happened, but I said that it happens. As in, iIt’s been more the once, and I am sure it will continue to occur for as long as she is so stinking pretty. And since she’s in her mid twenties and insists upon remaining as youthful looking as she did ten years ago, I don’t think she will stop getting pulled over for being too cute for a LONG time.


becky said...

50 things about my girl E-Lisa and not one mentions her crazy mad shopping skills!!! C'mon people!! Sure she's a nice person, great mommy, smart & funny, bit clumsy, yadayadayada.... but people, when she is on her A-game there is none to match her skills at navigating a mall(except maybe she who trained her), let alone her stamina!!!! Although I have heard she was trained by the best, aka her mom...

Hi-D said...

Lisa had to go to afternoon kindergarten because she wouldn't get up in the morning. I bet she wishes she had pm kindergarten now!

Lisa tells really great stories. The closer you get to the alarm going off, the better her stories get. One reason she tells great stories is that she can holdout for a well timed punchline. The other is that she attracts so many odd events and people that she thinks it's normal.

jsstephenson said...

Yes, well there are a couple of things that got left out that I thought I would add about Lisa:

1. Lisa loves being a patient at the Creighton University School of Dentistry Clinic. Even the thought of spending time in that clinic is a major turn on for her. Add to that the fact that it is probably her husband who is "practicing" on her increases the excitement.

2. I have met few people who have made their own personal American dream come true as quickly as Lisa. Think about it: Midwestern Winters and Summers, having an infinite shopping budget, living in the Village Green with other weathly-type people, two lovely well-behaved children...that's the dream so quickly attained! Congratulations Lisa!

Now a few comments about # 12 in the first set of 25--about Matt's sign. I was wondering if you could draw me a picture.