Monday, February 23, 2009

Robert 25 Things

1. Robert has only four senses--he cannot smell.

2. Robert's older sister has tried to hit him with a shovel.

3. Robert is a very good salesman. When he talks people listen, and he has a way of making what he wants you to do sound so darn reasonable. But if you are feeling a little unreasonable that day, he may leave approximately 500 pest control fliers on your lawn.

4. Robert will come very, very close to punching you in the face if you jump out from behind a wall to scare him. It is not recommended, but very funny.

5. Robert is a natural leader under pressure. He usually stays very calm and is good at directing others. Again, people just listen to him. In an emergency I would want to be with my brother.

6. Robert has owned/caught many snakes, lizards, and turtles. I have been on many a snake hunting excursion with him and loved every one, except perhaps the one where we almost drove off a small cliff.

7. Robert likes to eat in the middle of the night. He used to take me to 7-11 at midnight on Sunday night (technically Monday morning) to get Slurpees. Another favorite late night meal was party pizzas and raspberry sticks.

8. Robert sometimes gets migraines. Like if he gets pulled over for speeding in my car and the officer keeps the spotlight shining right in his eyes the whole time because he doesn't like this arrogant young man--he might get a migraine then.

9. Robert saved his youngest sister's life twice (yeah, that's me). Once he jumped into a pool to pull me out when I was 2 or 3, and the other time he jumped into a river when the current had me stuck under a rock and yanked me out. Those two times were the physical, but there have been countless other ways he saved that girl.

10. Robert had a dog named Teddy. Teddy could not run straight, he could only run sideways. Robert has vowed to never have another dog.

11. Robert was the captain of his highschool basketball team. This may or may not have contributed to girls befriending me in the hopes of getting closer to my bro.

12. Robert is a good cook. He is very particular about his food, so instead of having someone screw up his meal he just learned to cook for himself. And he puts Lawrey's Seasoning Salt on everything.

13. Robert used to work as a snowboarding instructor. He tried to teach me how to snowboard once. He must have not been a very good instructor because I ended up taking off the board, sitting on it, and sledding down the mountain. He was definitely good at snowboarding however. At least I was impressed with his crazy tricks.

14. Robert is not someone you want to get into an arguement with--at least not if you want to win. Robert loves to argue (something all of us kids inherited from the Beeson side) and he will argue anything just for the sake of driving you crazy, and he doesn't necessarily have to agree with or believe in what he is arguing. Matthew always says Robby would be a great lawyer.

15. Robert is good at anything he decides he wants to be good at. This includes basketball, paintball, fishing, shooting, buying and selling on ebay, fixing Matt's paintball guns, etc. If he decides he wants to do it, it is not too long before he is an expert.

16. Robert has had the song "Insensitive" dedicated to him at a dance. We'll just leave it at that.

17. Robert has a fondness for setting alarm clocks for 2 or 3 am and hiding them in people's rooms.

18. Robert was shot by his uncle. With a shotgun. We come from a slightly violent background. Nah, it was an accident. I believe he still has some of the pellets in his body. I think Robert felt a whole lot better about the incident a few years later when he shot that same uncle four times with a paintball gun in the junk. Cup check.

19. Robert gives thoughtful FHE lessons or "spiritual thoughts". He always makes me feel inspired and humbled at the same time. He shares his wisdom well.

20. Robert served a mission in Brazil. I've heard that he was a very hard worker and a very fast walker. He and Matthew were companions twice, for a total of six months together. Robert cried when he was released and took off his tag.

21. Robert knows all of the words to "My Perogative" by Bobby Brown. He also calls me whenever he hears a great old school song on the radio.

22. Robert has never done anything really mean to a girl he didn't even know. Except for maybe the one time he had his friend tell a girl that she should go ask him how far his dad could kick a football. When she did, Robert told the poor sap, "Is that supposed to be funny? My dad doesn't have any legs."

23. Robert is adored by his kids. He really is an amazing father. He must have learned from the best.

24. Robert officiated at his best friend's wedding. His friend now calls him "The Reverend". Robert also named his first born after this friend.

25. Robert held Moses at the alter when he was sealed to us. I will always remember the way he cradled my son that day.


Zaissa said...

"Robert is a natural leader under pressure. He usually stays very calm and is good at directing others."

Umn...yeah, unless he sees a "rattlesnake" in the road. Then it's every man/girl for his/herself, and if he's leading, it's only cuase he runs the fastest.

No seriously, I love that guy (after all, I had lots of girls in Jr. High who wanted to be my friend too, once they found out I was his cousin--oh and in my Jr. Year of highschool, when he and I went to different schools, he managed to get in to my school's year book! I on the other hand, did not make the cut. *Sigh")

Jillian said...

"Robert has never done anything really mean to a girl he didn't even know"

Yeah- he saved the good stuff for the girls he knew. Like, for instance, shoving a girls head in the bag that stored their dead cat in Anatomy.....and putting the picture of said event in the yearbook.

becky said...

LOL Jill! You stole my comment ;)except I was going to reference the numerous encounters with shrubbery.
Props to you Lisa on your creative writing skills! ;)

Jillian said...

I'll forgive him one of these days. Probably not today.

Rob said...

Wow! My mom was right - I am special! Couple of points:
1. I didn't tell the girl my dad had no legs. I said he only had one leg. Still not so good for being a professional field goal kicker.

2. As for the wild, unsubstantiated accusations flying around, just remember that you can't believe anything you read on the Internet.

Natalie said...

Robert IS pretty special. And pretty awesome. I remember the time Robert and I took the lid off of a carton of milk and punched the carton back and forth to each other across the kitchen floor, milk flying in all directions. Pretty awesome...until Mom came in. I love you, brother.

Kelsi {John, Jake, Georgia} said...

#21 is pretty awesome. I'm fairly certain he got that skill from his older sister.

Robert is pretty special.

Anonymous said...

K--we are all done with Robert and would like to hear about Natalie now please.

Emma Lee